Sometimes I am full of bullshit. It is the result of many layers of BS that have accumulated over lifetimes. It is my protection mechanism. So sometimes when I feel afraid, the BS just rises right up.
What am I afraid of? I am afraid that you will judge me as less than you. I am afraid that you will resist and reject me. I am afraid that you won’t understand me, and I will trigger you. I am afraid to be VULNERABLE and AUTHENTIC, and therefore I am afraid to be fully PRESENT with you. That’s why I pull out the BS. I am hiding behind it, hoping you won’t see the real me.
Seeing this, I choose to FACE my FEAR as the LOVE that we are.
“Hello Fear, tell me all about it.”
Fear says, “I am tired of being judged, resisted, misunderstood, alone, rejected, unwanted, neglected, unimportant.”
To my Fear:
“I AM so sorry. You have suffered so much trying to protect me and help me get what you feel I need and want. Thank you for all you’ve done. You can rest now. I AM here, and I will never leave you again. You are SAFE now. From here on out, I will carry you. I love and accept you, Fear, exactly as you are.”
I have decided to declare a no BS zone. I don’t have to hide from you anymore. I choose to show up fully PRESENT, AUTHENTIC and VULNERABLE. If I feel afraid, I will continue to tend to MY fear. If you feel triggered by me, that’s okay too because I will allow you to use this as an opportunity to tend to YOUR fear. This way we stop playing games, and we HARMONIZE these parts of ourselves, which is the reason we even came here to begin with. Saying this, I feel better already.