Are You Keeping Someone From Their Greatness?

One of the hardest things is to watch someone suffer, especially if it is someone close to us whom we love and are in relationship with. We have a natural tendency to want to stop their suffering, to fix it, to make it go away. There’s nothing wrong with that part of us, however, that is not coming from our Highest Self.

Instead, it is coming from the part of us that judges this SHOULD NOT BE, which is our human spiritual ego that feels separate from what it needs and wants. It’s constantly trying to CONTROL things and people because it’s afraid for itself and others and doesn’t want to feel SEPARATE from what it needs and wants.

What’s not apparent is “fixing someone” is actually not only NOT HELPFUL, but actually does the exact OPPOSITE and causes more suffering because now that person has whatever they were originally were suffering from AND your fear and judgment about it.

When we try to take away someone’s struggle, we are actually KEEPING THEM FROM THEIR GREATNESS. Here’s why: Each of us came here as unique expressions of Source, offering unique gifts through our human experience. Whatever we experience is what we came to heal and harmonize in ourselves and in the collective. We must experience something before we can heal it. That journey is also closely tied to our life’s purpose.

When we judge another person’s experience as WRONG, that it shouldn’t be, we are not RESPECTING what they came here to do, what they came to heal, the gifts they offer through their experience. We actually keep them in their suffering and the illusion of separation by compounding their fears with ours. Underneath that suffering, that struggle, those fears, is their unique expression of Source, their Highest Selves, their GREATNESS.

The best way we can support others who are suffering is to FIRST offer NONJUDGMENTAL PRESENCE, LOVE and ACCEPTANCE to our OWN fears, judgments and limiting beliefs about the other. Then we can offer NONJUDGMENTAL PRESENCE, LOVE and ACCEPTANCE to the other. We can also begin to visualize the other’s highest expression of Source, the greatest version of themselves. When we talk or interact or think of them, we can look past their suffering, their form and story and see them in their most WHOLE HARMONIOUS state of being. Then we can sit back and watch the magic of transformation!

Fear Is Influenced By Me!

I AM not influenced by fear. Fear is INFLUENCED BY ME! 

 What?! Darn right. I know who I AM. I no longer walk around afraid someone’s gonna rob me, cheat me, disappointment me, abuse me, rape me, break my heart. No one can take anything from me because I AM all that IS connected as ONE with all of you! 

When I walk into a room, I don’t take on everybody’s fears. Fear completely dissolves in the light of my presence as LOVE itself. Therefore when I walk into a room I TRANSFORM everyone in that room with LOVE. This is exactly what’s POSSIBLE FOR YOU TOO!

You Are Perfect

If you want to see perfection, look in the mirror. Yes, you are Source, All That Is, clothed in skin having a human experience. You can’t be any better than perfection.

Yet, we spend an exorbitant amount of energy trying to better ourselves by getting an education, earning a better income, improving our appearance, developing more social skills and on and on. There’s nothing wrong with that approach. But we do ourselves a favor by engaging in these activities from the perspective as PERFECTION working out the experience of being human.

From this viewpoint, instead of constantly struggling, fighting, contriving, reaching for something we think we don’t have or are not, we can FLOW seamlessly into a natural way of being that is simply embodying the perfection that we already are.

How to Stop Fighting and Start Loving

We live in a world of conflict: wars, politics, competition, divorce, racism, territorial disputes, global destruction, fueled by power, anger, greed, jealousy, terror, rage, apathy. We think the conflict is with the other who is opposed to us. Yet, what is not apparent is that the real conflict is WITHIN us. Therefore fighting each other is completely ineffective, and in fact STRENGTHENS and PERPETUATES our conflict and suffering. 

How do we create new realities, so we don’t continue this viscous cycle? We can choose to stop REACTING out of FEAR and RESISTANCE and start RESPONDING from LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. 

Here’s and simple step by step approach:

1. BREATHE:

When you encounter conflict, take a few seconds to BREATHE several long breaths. 

2. FEEL:

As you are breathing, become AWARE of what emotion you are FEELING, while resisting the urge to get lost in the story. For example, instead of saying “That SOB just cut me off in traffic!” you can say, “I feel ANGRY right now.” Or instead of saying “So and so won’t communicate with me,”  you can say, “I feel SAD right now. “

3. HUG:

Then take a moment to give that part of you that feels angry, sad, disappointed, anxious, jealous, unworthy, a big HUG by crossing your arms across your chest. 

When that part of you feels ACKNOWLEDGED, SAFE and LOVED, you create an entirely new space with which to create a different outcome for yourself and the other. 

4. RESPOND:

Now you have empowered yourself to take inspired action or non-action by RESPONDING from a place of LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. 

That may mean that you tell someone, “No, thank you” instead of “Hell NO!” Or it may mean you do nothing and go about your day with a big smile on your face because you have loved a part of yourself that really needed it. Or it may mean that you come up with an idea that is mutually beneficial for both of you that you may not have considered when you were in a state of conflict. 

Whatever the case, you will have FREED yourself from fighting with the other and given to yourself the LOVE that it was needing at this time. That’s how to stop fighting and start loving, and life is a whole lot more fun that way.