Experience Denise Roussel sharing about her life and her practices of being present and holding space for the abandoned rejected parts of ourselves.
Love takes many forms, and not all love is equal. The love that we experience as humans is generally conditional love. It has conditions or expectations before the love is delivered. There’s nothing wrong with conditional love. However, it is very limiting. Unconditional love is limitless, and it’s who we are. Unconditional love has no expectations nor conditions in order for it to be experienced. This is not part of our human programming, and few people really experience unconditional love because were programmed to look outside of ourselves for love. In order to experience unconditional love, we must first give it to ourselves by being present with love and acceptance of everything that’s here now. This especially includes our sadness, our anger, our fear, our jealousy, our greed, our disappointment, our confusion. Until we are able to offer love and acceptance to these abandoned and rejected parts of ourselves, we cannot actualize the unconditional love that we are nor can we offer it to others. Our human relationships revolves around conditional love, which is essentially codependency. We are habituated to expect another person to make us happy, to give us what we need and want, to complete us and the list goes on. We focus our attention on the story of what another has done to us and we try to manipulate and control what we experience by trying to get other people to do what we need and want. There’s nothing wrong with this kind of relationship, but it’s very limiting and creates a lot of suffering. At some point in our lifetimes, we may become dissatisfied with operating in our human conditional love and are ready to begin offering unconditional love to ourselves. This positions us to build relationships based on unconditional love that are no longer codependent but instead are interdependent. What this looks like is: I no longer look outside of myself for my happiness and contentment. I go inward by being present with what’s here now. Is sadness here now? Is resentment here now? Is unworthiness here now? Is fear here now? Whatever is here, I offer it nonjudgmental presence, love and acceptance. In this way, I embody the unconditional love that we are. Because we are one, when I do it for myself, I do it for the entire collective. From this Divine limitless way of being, I begin to create relationships where I am primarily giving myself what I need and want and able to give and receive from another from a very free place. There are no longer conditions or expectations attached to my love. I am now free to love limitlessly and liberally. I am now able to love your darkness because I’ve given my own acceptance. This is how we create a new earth.
It’s so easy to keep playing a story over and over in our minds, an endless loop of suffering...”I can’t believe she said that!...If only I would have...If you just stop doing that...blah, blah, blah” It’s exhausting! From our human point of view, we do our very best to try to control the situation by trying to get others and ourselves to do something different, making sure we don’t get hurt again. We are also experts in doing all sorts of things to numb and distract ourselves from the situation. What is not apparent from our human viewpoint is that if we try to use human methods to work things out, we will be LIMITED by our human abilities and logic. There is a far better way of being. We can operate from our LIMITLESS nature. What does this look like? I can begin by taking the seat of the AWARENESS that I AM and take a deep breath, allowing my spacious essence to hold my human self and notice what is HERE NOW. The POSSIBILITIES of whatever it is I was anxious about in the future and the events of the past, AKA the “story”, are not here now. My FEAR and ANXIETY about the future and the past are here now. That’s who I AM working with. The story doesn’t matter! The reason the story is not important is because my soul, my Highest Self, has CREATED this situation so that I can find out what IN ME wants my love and attention. What is here now? Fear? Anxiety? Sadness? Anger? This is what matters! I can hold my fears in compassionate, nonjudgmental, loving presence by listening to what they have to say, then offering it encouragement: “I AM so sorry, Fear. You have suffered so much, trying to protect me and help me survive. You have worked so hard. I want you to know I love and accept you exactly as you are, Fear. You are welcome to stay as long as you wish, and I will hold you in my loving embrace. You are safe now. You can rest now. I AM here, and I will never leave you. I will take it from here. Trust me. I got this.” When we hold nonjudgmental presence for our fear and offer love and acceptance to it, it morphs back into the love that it is. This is how we heal and harmonize with ourselves and with the entire collective because we are One.
What’s up with that part of me that judges everything and everyone?
Are you tired of having fear run your life? Have you had enough of trying to figure things out and control everything around you? Are you sick of being anxious and worried about the future? There is a better way. And it’s amazing!